Weekend Update

My mom, sister-in-law, and nieces stayed at our house on Saturday. We ate at Cafe' Rio (a mandatory stop for my Pocatello family) and then went to Wheeler Park. Its a really cool farm/park a block from our apartment. Then we left Thurm to go biking with his cousin, and we went to Gardener Village to shop. I didn't realize I left my keys at home because we were driving Florecita's car. When we got back, we were locked out for about an hour. Thurm finally rode up and informed us that there was a key under the mat : (
I don't think I've mentioned that I was called to Primary Chorister. I was called more than a month ago, but yesterday was my first time. The old chorister was having a hard time letting go and told me I could just watch and "train." Which turned out to be nice to see how things are run in primary. I haven't been in primary since I was 11, so it was a little foggy. I was pretty nervous, not because of the kids, but because of the teachers staring me down. I didn't know the songs, so I fumbled through a few and managed to do a decent job for my first time.

Everyone keeps asking Thurm and I what we do for fun and I always blank because we don't do anything notable. I think people ask us that because we don't have a TV. And I think they ask us that because we don't talk about our lives that much. So being the Research Assistant that I am, I wondered, "how do other people spend their time?", and I found what the US Census had to say about it:

"On an average day in 2005, nearly everyone (96 percent) age 15 and over reported some sort of leisure or sports activity, such as watching TV, socializing, or exercising. Among this group of participants, men spent more time doing leisure activities (5.7 hours) than women (5.0 hours). Men were slightly more likely than women to participate in sports on any given day, 19 versus 16 percent. In absolute terms, individuals increased their TV watching and socializing times by about the same amount; they watched TV for 42 more minutes and socialized for 35 more minutes on weekend days than on weekdays. Employed adults living in households without children (under age 18) engaged in leisure and sports activities for 4.5 hours, about 50 more minutes per day than employed adults living with a child under age 6. Almost half of their additional leisure time was spent watching TV. Adolescents and adults now spend, on average, more than 64 days a year watching television, 41 days listening to the radio and a little over a week using the Internet. Among adults, 97 million Internet users sought news online last year, 92 million bought a product, 91 million made a travel reservation, 16 million used a social or professional networking site and 13 million created a blog."

So what I've concluded is that alot of people waste alot of time watching TV. And I think we are included in that group. We don't watch TV, per say, but we watch occasional movies on our computer, which is basically the same activity. And we spend alot of time cooking dinner every night and cleaning it up. We usually take a walk or go exercising. The rest of our time is spent just interacting with each other. I'm amazed at how much time we "waste" just BSing, bugging each other, being silly, chit-chatting, etc. I would say that 60% of our off-work time is spent doing that. So pretty much, we do what every other person does. Maybe we should get some hobbies... join a bowling league?

Passive-Aggressive

Passive-aggressive behaviour refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. It is a defensive posture and, more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

Common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder
There are certain behaviors that help identify passive-aggressive behavior. [3]
Ambiguity
Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
Blaming others
Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
Complaining
Does not express hostility or anger openly
Fear of authority
Fear of competition
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy
Fosters chaos
Intentional inefficiency
Making excuses and lying
Obstructionism
Procrastination
Resentment
Resists suggestions from others
Sarcasm

We watched a really good french film last night called Les Choristes. We tried watching it in Taiwan one time, on Adena's recommendation, but it was in French with Chinese subtitles. It was along the lines of Mr. Hollands Opus, but more French. I recommend it : )

Thurm and I decided we should buy a house when our lease is up in October. So we've looked around a little, talked to a mortgage broker, etc. So our realtor sent us a listing for this cool old mansion that someone made into a tri-plex. Its a little out of our price range, but its AWESOME! We drove over to it last night and walked around and looked in the windows and fantasized how we'd fix it up.

Tonight we are going to the opera, Lucia di Lasomething. Its in Italian with English ''supertitles." I am excited to see how they have subtitles at the Capitol Theatre. Its so cool that my husband is willing and excited to go to the opera with me : )

Swallowing Tears

I have watched, IN AMAZEMENT, my little niece, Isabell, physically swallow her tears. Her huge eyes will well up in tears, sobs will start coming from her mouth, her face will get all scrunched. Then she'll get threatened by her mom to stop crying or else... some consequence. And amazingly, she can just stop. Stop the tears. Stop the sobs. Her face will suddenly be angelic again. How does she do this?
I've decided this is how marriage has to be. I get my feelings hurt and I dwell on it and dwell on it and can't get over it. Thurm trys to make it better, apologises, hugs and kisses me, and I am still prideful and don't let it go. Why can't I be like Isabell and just GET OVER IT! I am going to try to be more like her.

Saturday morning Thurm & I were being passive-aggressive over hurt feelings and mis-understandings. Mostly it was my fault. By afternoon we had talked it out, kissed, and made up. That night we went to a party of some mutual friends. We were the only married people there, it was made up of mostly LDS-late-twenties-singles. Just a year and a half ago we were in this category... and now we are in the married category. Now, not to minimize the single life, because I had a good time and I'm really glad I had those years to be irresponsible, to travel, to develop tight friendships with people who will always be apart of my life, to blow my money on entertainment and dining out.... but MAN am I SOOOOOO glad to be married!
At some point during the party, Thurm leaned over and said something to the affect of what I just explained above. And I looked around the room of people dancing, I thought about our morning of fighting, and I was just so thankful to have finally found the love of my life. My 27 years of singlehood are full of good memories and fun times, but I would hang out with Thurm on the couch in our tiny apartment talking about nothing, over going to a raging party any day.

The Prom

This is our picture from our company prom. It's really our company party, but since everyone gets REALLY dressed up, its referred to as "the prom." Thurm & I look like we were crying because we were laughing that it took the photographer 4 takes to get both of our eyes open. This was actually a pretty fun party. They had drinks and dinner at the Grand America downtown, very swanky.

I have been extra clumsy lately. In one night I tripped over our Internet cord and pulled it out of the computer, knocked over a glass of water on the floor, and opened a cupboard door into my face. I got a cut and bruise right below my eye. The next day I glued BOTH hands to a superglue bottle. I was gluing with my right hand an noticed that it was stuck. So I used my left hand to try and pull it off, but it got stuck instantly. It was a scary few moments thinking that my hands would forever be glued to a dumb, tiny bottle.

Thurm and I had a semi-fun weekend. We decided to go to Wendover just for kicks. The deal was we each had $20 to gamble. And if we earned enough money for a hotel room we'd stay the night. We walked into the first casino called The Red Garter. "Skeezy" was the best word that we came up with to describe this place. It was depressing. I instantly regretted our weekend getaway choice. Watching the people in this place sucked all the hope and joy out of me. They were all addicts and unhappy. Addicts of alcohol, smoking, gambling and who knows what else. It made me thankful for my lifestyle, that I have boundaries and the only thing I am addicted to is sugar (which I'm trying to get control of). We got out of there and found a "classier" casino. To make a long story short, we were up $15 a one point and we were pretty certain we were going to get our hotel room. But quickly lost it and the rest of our money. I think Thurm and I both had a crazed "just $5 more dollars" look in our eye at different points during the night. But we got out of there before the neon lights and mirrors sucked us in forever.

Married, Filing Jointly

Thurm and I have an on-going argument about what procrastination is. A big difference between the two of us is our 'speed.' Thurm belongs on a beach with all the other relaxed, easy-going people of the world. I am a little more tightly wound. When I think of something I need to do, I do it as soon as possible so I don't forget (I'm pretty forgetful). A recent example of our differences is that I have wanted to find out how we should file for our taxes this year. Do we need a professional? Should we file married, but separate? I have no idea. I have barely made it through my single-only debt is a car- taxes each year. So this has been hanging over my head for about a month. I keep procrastinating looking into how we need to do our taxes. Thurm's argument is that its not procrastination yet because I still have two months to file. But my point is that its been bothering me for a month and I still haven't done it. I guess we will agree to disagree. The good news is that I finally talked to someone at H&R and was advised that we can do it ourselves and to file married-jointly. Whew! Glad I have that monkey off my back.

Four Crushes and a Wife

Thurman and I went to a double wedding of two sisters on Saturday night. Thurm has been friends of this family for years and at least 2 of the four sisters have had crushes on him. Thurm's ex-girlfriend also attended. And a women who was in-love with Thurm for years, but the sentiments weren't returned by him. It was so strange knowing that I was the women who finally snagged him and that 4 other women were carefully critiquing me that night. I met and made small talk with all these girls and they were all really nice. It was sort of surreal experience, but at the same time was flattering knowing that I was the one Thurm chose to love : ) It goes to show that anyone who takes the time to get to know quiet Thurman, loves him. And it had to make Thurm feel pretty good being in a room of adoring women : )

The president of our company sent an email to all of us telling us about a way we can help the man who was shot at Trolly. The company has set it up so all of us employees can donate some of our vacation time or money to help him while he's in the hospital. That is so cool : ) It made me feel really good that even though there are horrible things in the world, there are still alot of REALLY good people.

One of the men that was shot at Trolly Square works at my work. He is still alive and in stable condition at the hospital. It was a scary event. Not only because Trolly is such a familiar place to me but because a co-worker was involved. Too close for comfort. It made me sad thinking about the 18-yr old boy who did the shooting. What has life brought him that made him take those extreme actions? And it made me sad thinking about the innocent people who were shot. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. What if they had lingered in a store for 10 more minutes, or decided to go to a different mall that night. I feel so safe in my little city of Salt Lake, death and guns are not apart of my reality. I can't imagine living in a country, like Iraq, where people getting shot is an everyday event.

New Things in My Life

Pandora.com -AKA Thurm’s New Addiction. It’s this website that plays similar artists as the ones you already like. For instance, you type in “Jack Johnson” and then it makes a whole radio station made up of music that is similar to Jack Johnson’s style. It’s great.

A Blue Finger- Well, really just a blue cut. I cut my finger while washing a knife, really, really deep. I put it in a mini-splint for 2 days and I thought it had pretty much healed, but it had not. I put a liquid band-aid on it for a few days. Still not healed. And now it is blue, but is almost closed. Should I be concerned?

A new work cube- The whole company moved cubes on Friday. All 200 of us, at 2:30 sharp. I’m now in the middle of the building and have a slightly larger-end isle-cube. I think I’m going to bring some decorations. But I hate labeling myself. Like if I brought flowers everyone will think I’m girly. Or if I bring some of my Taiwan décor, then I’m labeled by that. It’s the same principal that prevents me from putting a bumper sticker on my car. I don’t want to box myself into some image.

A new level in my marriage- I let Thurm read my on-line journal from Taiwan. He read my personal thoughts about when we were first dating. It was pretty embarrassing. Is that healthy? Should he know my every thought? I need some sort of filter on myself don’t I?

I am trying to wake up at 7am each morning to exercise. So far, one morning it has happened. Thurman wants to run the NYC Marathon in November and wants me to run the 10k. haha. But I am going to make an effort. I've put on the 15 pounds from being married and its time for it to come off. Too bad Thurm is such a great cook.

Tonight we are going to the temple with our friend Janey. We have gone to the temple every month since we've been married. And its been at a different temple each time. There are enough temples in Utah that we could probably do a different one every month for the next year.

Celebrities and Killers

Saturday night Thurman and I went to Park City to star search. We didn’t have tickets to the Sundance Film Festival, but we thought it would be fun to walk around Main Street and take in the sights. Within two minutes of arriving, Puff Daddy, or P. Diddy, or Puffy, or Diddy, or whatever you want to call him walked right past us. As he was walking towards us, I said, “Hey look! It’s P. Diddy!” in a joking voice, but it really turned out to be him. We saw him another two times that night. He was eating up the attention. I always feel bad for stars that have no privacy and are mobbed by people, but I decided they want the attention.
We also saw Pedro, from Napoleon Dynamite. Aidan, Chase and Elise are going to be so jealous:) We saw Danny Masterson or Hyde from “That 70’s Show.” And David from Real World Seattle. I don’t think reality TV stars should count, but he’s pretty cute.
It was a fun night.
There are few films that I’m interested in seeing, but don’t really want to wait hours in line for the chance. I think I’ll just wait it out. “A Very British Gangster” is one that sounds really good and I’m hoping that it will come out in theatres or the very least on DVD.
I had a nightmare last night. I woke up to Thurman shaking me and calling my name. He said I was screaming and thrashing around. I dreamed that Thurman and I were sleeping on a boardwalk waiting for something evil that we knew was coming. It was dark outside and I saw a murderer running towards us and his knife glinted in the moonlight. But we couldn’t run. I was just screaming waiting for him to reach us. Thank goodness Thurm woke me up. I was terrified. Even after I woke up I was too scared to go back to bed. So Thurm stayed awake with me for about an hour. I think it all spurned from a book I didn’t read. All I read was a quote on the cover that said “Don’t let it be dark! Don’t let it be dark!” before I went to sleep.
A guy at work just called the temple to set a wedding date for he and his girlfriend of three weeks. He has known her for his entire life, so it makes it better. A friend of mine has been dating her boyfriend for a month and are planning their wedding. But she knew him for few months before dating. I guess when you know its right...

ANNOUNCEMENT! ANNOUNCEMENT!!

I finally posted our wedding pictures!!! YAYAY! To see them, please visit http://www.thurmanandnatalie.blogspot.com I also posted some pictures of our honeymoon and our apartment. I will post more tomorrow night, so visit again!