Thursday, July 05, 2007
“Ohhh, say can you see”
4th of July was great! We woke up at 8:30 to attend our neighborhood parade (50 kids on bikes). It ended at a little neighborhood park two blocks from our house, where they had breakfast waiting for us. I lead the star spangled banner for the crowd… does it really need leading? We watched our neighbor’s little girl for an hour at the park while he ran an errand. Kassie, the little girl, and Thurm had fun throwing water balloons at each other.
Later we went swimming at Thurm’s brother’s apartment. I took lots of swimming pictures. We ate dinner at “Eat-A-Burger” with Thurm’s brothers and our friend Amy. We watched “A Street Car Called Desire,” which, of course, was a great movie. Classic movies always are. There was lot of lying around time, relaxing, napping, etc. We went to Sugarhouse Park to watch the fireworks. I’ve done this in previous years, but never thought about traffic because we just walked to the park from my apartment. But traffic is a BIG consideration when choosing where to watch fireworks. The fireworks ended at 10:30 and we didn’t get home till mid-night.
Recent Events:
Thurm squished a HUGE, FAT spider in the bathroom and immediately after the squish, 40+ baby spiders crawled from underneath the tissue!!! AHHHHHH!!! A NIGHTMARE! I still have the heebie-jeebies thinking about it.
I rear-ended a car this morning. Well, not really, I just tapped her bumper, but I was still scared that she’d freak out. Stopped at a stoplight, I was tweezing my eyebrows in the rear-view mirror and not realizing that the pressure of my foot on the break was lessening. I bumped her, we looked at our cars, nothing happened, so we went on our way. But it still made me panic.
Later we went swimming at Thurm’s brother’s apartment. I took lots of swimming pictures. We ate dinner at “Eat-A-Burger” with Thurm’s brothers and our friend Amy. We watched “A Street Car Called Desire,” which, of course, was a great movie. Classic movies always are. There was lot of lying around time, relaxing, napping, etc. We went to Sugarhouse Park to watch the fireworks. I’ve done this in previous years, but never thought about traffic because we just walked to the park from my apartment. But traffic is a BIG consideration when choosing where to watch fireworks. The fireworks ended at 10:30 and we didn’t get home till mid-night.
Recent Events:
Thurm squished a HUGE, FAT spider in the bathroom and immediately after the squish, 40+ baby spiders crawled from underneath the tissue!!! AHHHHHH!!! A NIGHTMARE! I still have the heebie-jeebies thinking about it.
I rear-ended a car this morning. Well, not really, I just tapped her bumper, but I was still scared that she’d freak out. Stopped at a stoplight, I was tweezing my eyebrows in the rear-view mirror and not realizing that the pressure of my foot on the break was lessening. I bumped her, we looked at our cars, nothing happened, so we went on our way. But it still made me panic.
Monday, July 02, 2007
The Beardless Wonder
Thurm shaved off his beard and is smooth as a baby's bum. Its been traumatic for both of us. Traumatic for me because I don't know this hairless man who claims to be my husband. Traumatic for him because I can't let it go and I keep making comments about it.
My best friend, Danalin, got married on Saturday in the Logan Temple. Thursday I threw her a small bachelorette party and Saturday drove up to Logan early to take pictures of her getting ready. Our other BFF, Heather, did the hair and make-up. I'll post pictures later.
I missed my 10-year class reunion to go to Danalin's wedding. Not that I was the least bit sad. But my best friends from High School, Deven & Emily, went together. This is a big deal because they haven't talked for about 8-years and left on bad terms. I was sort of bummed to miss out on any drama that ensued, but Deven has promised to give me the run-down.
My best friend, Danalin, got married on Saturday in the Logan Temple. Thursday I threw her a small bachelorette party and Saturday drove up to Logan early to take pictures of her getting ready. Our other BFF, Heather, did the hair and make-up. I'll post pictures later.
I missed my 10-year class reunion to go to Danalin's wedding. Not that I was the least bit sad. But my best friends from High School, Deven & Emily, went together. This is a big deal because they haven't talked for about 8-years and left on bad terms. I was sort of bummed to miss out on any drama that ensued, but Deven has promised to give me the run-down.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thurm & I spent Friday night and Saturday morning with two couples from our ward at a cabin in Kamus. When we first moved into the ward last October, these same people creepily surrounded us in Sunday school and invited us to said cabin. I have to admit I was scared they were going to take us up in the woods and make us join their cult. It never worked out for us to go to the cabin till this weekend. And thankfully, there were no rituals, and we had a fun time. One of the husbands, Tom, was a riot. The type of guy that has a story for everything and lives to entertain. I've decided that every good group has to have one of these people. In a matter of 8 hours every controversial subject you can think of was discussed. Its always so interesting getting to know people on a deeper level than just the polite "how do you do's" at church. I felt like both couples had laid out alot of their dirty laundry. I know they expected the same of Thurm & I, but we are both much more private than that. It was one of the cases where I thought one of the women had a perfect life and came from a rich, religious family, but that wasn't the case. Her family had tons of heartache and problems. It made me thankful for Thurm's and my family. We aren't perfect, but basically everyone is living a good life. On our drive home I asked Thurm if he thought everyone liked us and his reply was "people like them always love people like us." Meaning, people who like to entertain need to have people like us to laugh and their jokes. Lesson re-learned: I'm a fairly negative person and I always think people are so shallow, but then I get to know them and I remember that I really love people. And that everyone has something interesting about them or something to add to my life.
Other Weekend Activities: Thurm's cousin's reception, I ate about 20 chocolate covered strawberries : ) mmmm. My brother, Wade and family have moved to SLC! (I'm going to show them a good time to try and convince them that SLC is great if you can just get past the overwhelming Mormon culture.) Went to a ward picnic in the park. Thurm won the pie eating contest. We together won the 3-legged race. Went swimming, watched Apocalypto, read, laid on the grass in the shade, played Bocce. Great weekend.
Other Weekend Activities: Thurm's cousin's reception, I ate about 20 chocolate covered strawberries : ) mmmm. My brother, Wade and family have moved to SLC! (I'm going to show them a good time to try and convince them that SLC is great if you can just get past the overwhelming Mormon culture.) Went to a ward picnic in the park. Thurm won the pie eating contest. We together won the 3-legged race. Went swimming, watched Apocalypto, read, laid on the grass in the shade, played Bocce. Great weekend.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thurm & I had a fun day yesterday. We decided to go to the Arts Festival downtown after work. We first ate at Tony Caputto's for dinner, an Italian deli named after the owner. Tony served me my trio salad : ) If you have the chance, get the "Caputto" sandwich....mmm... good stuff.
Then we went to Library Square where the Festival was taking place. We stopped inside the library to use the restroom and saw they had a Salt Lake film festival going on. So we watched 82 minutes of 10 short films. The one we both voted for was a documentary about how our military censors the media. The guy who directed it was a soldier in Iraq. His job was to shoot film and give stories to the US media. But he was ordered to tell "happy" stories or at least stories that shed good light on the US. It wasn't surprising or shocking...we know that our media is censored and biased. But it was great that someone who was there and apart of it wanted people to know what was going on.
There was one other short that was really interesting too. A high-school girl who found out her step-mom was a meth addict decided to make a documentary. She was surprised to find out that Utah is #3 in the nation for meth users (isn't Wyoming #1?). And even more surprising is that its more common with women. She interviewed recovering female addicts and found out some of the reasons women liked meth so much in the beginning. They lost weight, some 20 lbs in the first week. They had tons of energy to clean the house, make dinner for the family, run errands, etc. But obviously after awhile, they didn't care about the clean house, making dinner, taking care of their kids... all they cared about was getting their next hit. And eventually it ruined their lives.
After we watched the shorts we went to the Art Festival. The most entertaining part of the evening was a fashion show. And people watching of course. Community events tend to bring out the most colorful people.
Tonight we are going to Kamus to a cabin with three couples from our ward. We have to make couple friends now : ( Tomorrow we are attending Thurm's cousin, Lexi's, reception. After that we are helping my brother, Wade, unload his u-haul. He is moving to SLC for a year for an internship at the U. And Saturday night is a ward BBQ at the neighborhood park. Busy weekend. And somewhere in all that I need to prepare for my primary choir and wash our sink full of dishes. All this and we don't even have kids yet.
Then we went to Library Square where the Festival was taking place. We stopped inside the library to use the restroom and saw they had a Salt Lake film festival going on. So we watched 82 minutes of 10 short films. The one we both voted for was a documentary about how our military censors the media. The guy who directed it was a soldier in Iraq. His job was to shoot film and give stories to the US media. But he was ordered to tell "happy" stories or at least stories that shed good light on the US. It wasn't surprising or shocking...we know that our media is censored and biased. But it was great that someone who was there and apart of it wanted people to know what was going on.
There was one other short that was really interesting too. A high-school girl who found out her step-mom was a meth addict decided to make a documentary. She was surprised to find out that Utah is #3 in the nation for meth users (isn't Wyoming #1?). And even more surprising is that its more common with women. She interviewed recovering female addicts and found out some of the reasons women liked meth so much in the beginning. They lost weight, some 20 lbs in the first week. They had tons of energy to clean the house, make dinner for the family, run errands, etc. But obviously after awhile, they didn't care about the clean house, making dinner, taking care of their kids... all they cared about was getting their next hit. And eventually it ruined their lives.
After we watched the shorts we went to the Art Festival. The most entertaining part of the evening was a fashion show. And people watching of course. Community events tend to bring out the most colorful people.
Tonight we are going to Kamus to a cabin with three couples from our ward. We have to make couple friends now : ( Tomorrow we are attending Thurm's cousin, Lexi's, reception. After that we are helping my brother, Wade, unload his u-haul. He is moving to SLC for a year for an internship at the U. And Saturday night is a ward BBQ at the neighborhood park. Busy weekend. And somewhere in all that I need to prepare for my primary choir and wash our sink full of dishes. All this and we don't even have kids yet.
The $800 Haircut
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/haircut.aspx
At least I didn't spend $800 for a haircut!!!
At least I didn't spend $800 for a haircut!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
I just paid $85 for a haircut. That is insane and yet I paid it willingly because I knew I was going to get a great cut. I rationalize this because in the last 2 years I've had long hair and have only cut it a few times. And I never paid over $35 for a haircut. So really I've been saving money. My hair is very short now. Its technically a bob. But its a very cute bob. I'll have to post before and after pictures.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday night Thurm & I drove an hour & a half to Mirror Lake which is in the Uintahs past Kamus. We found a great spot to camp away from everyone else near a meadow. It was really beautiful, other than the SWARMS of mosquitos. However, my brilliant husband figured out that if you burn tree sap it works as a mosquito repellant! I always think I love camping until about 4am when I’m freezing and sore from the hard ground. The next morning we walked around Mirror Lake and sang “Touch Me” by The Doors.
I also finally finished Jane Eyre. I loved it! We rented the A&E version of it and watched it on Sunday. I didn't really like the actor who played Mr. Rochester, but thought they did a pretty good job of following the book. I've started reading "Cat's Eye" by Margaret Atwood. I read her book "The Handmaid's Tale" and have put it on my top 10 favorite books. "Cat's Eye", however, is not going to make the cut. I do like her writing style, I'm just not as in-love with this book.
I also finally finished Jane Eyre. I loved it! We rented the A&E version of it and watched it on Sunday. I didn't really like the actor who played Mr. Rochester, but thought they did a pretty good job of following the book. I've started reading "Cat's Eye" by Margaret Atwood. I read her book "The Handmaid's Tale" and have put it on my top 10 favorite books. "Cat's Eye", however, is not going to make the cut. I do like her writing style, I'm just not as in-love with this book.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
High Expectations
I read an article today about how kids are delusional about money. They did a poll and most kids think they will earn six figure incomes. Here is the reality:
Median earnings of men who worked full time, year round in 2005, the latest year for which Census Bureau statistics are available, was $41,386.
Women working full time made a median $31,858.
Fewer than 5% of the U.S. population makes more than $100,000, according to the bureau. Only one household out of six report a six-figure income, according to the Federal Reserve's 2004 Survey of Consumer Finances.
Median earnings of men who worked full time, year round in 2005, the latest year for which Census Bureau statistics are available, was $41,386.
Women working full time made a median $31,858.
Fewer than 5% of the U.S. population makes more than $100,000, according to the bureau. Only one household out of six report a six-figure income, according to the Federal Reserve's 2004 Survey of Consumer Finances.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Last night I woke up because Thurm was making sounds, sort of groans, in his sleep. I was afraid he was having a bad dream, so I woke him up. Turns out he was having a dream about Ben, his brother. They were in the basement of their parent’s house and there was a table with six hard boiled eggs the size of watermelons. Thurm turned around for a minute and when he turned back Ben had eaten all the eggs and was running up the stairs. So the sounds Thurm was making in his sleep was disbelief. For some reason this dream struck me as hilarious and I laughed uncontrollably for about five minutes. It was the kind of laughter that I couldn’t have stopped if my life depended on it. It was like I was drunk. Good thing Thurm isn’t cranky at four in the morning, he just laughed with me.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Late to Work
This morning I woke up a few minutes before my cell phone alarm usually goes off. When it didn’t go off I went to look for my phone and purse and came to the realization that I left it in the car last night that Thurm took to work an hour earlier. My purse had all my money, my phone, and my keys. My first thought was to get a taxi to take to work… oh wait, no money, no phone to call one. So I walked over the Sinclair and tried to use a pay phone (it was out of order) but ended up using their store phone. (Side Note: I was a little intimidated to use a pay phone. I’ve only used one few times in my life and they were mostly in a foreign country, which is a nightmare to try and figure out. I don’t think I’ve ever made a call from a pay phone successfully by myself). Anyway, I called work and told them I’d try to find a way to get to work, but don’t expect me in unless they heard back from me. I called Thurm who had the brilliant idea of riding the bus. I looked it up on the internet (thank goodness for the world wide web) and found a route that would take me 1 hour 45 mins (if all ran smoothly) and 3 bus changes. How is it possible that people use public transportation every day of their lives? Running one errand would take up your whole night! I found $3.00 in change lying around the house, which was enough to make it to work and back on the bus. Luckily, a co-worker, who I had emailed about not coming into work today, offered to come pick me and took me to work. With no traffic it only took up a half-hour out of her day, but I still felt bad and like a total space cadet.
The point of this story is I felt completely lost without my phone and a car. I am so used to being completely independent and never needing to rely on anyone or anything but myself, that I didn’t know what to do besides stay at home for the rest of the day. I don’t have any phone numbers memorized because they are just programmed into my phone. I wouldn’t even know who to call because Thurm and I have been living in marriage bliss for the last 6 months and haven’t made any friends in the neighborhood. And what friends I do have in SLC I haven’t kept in touch with because again “marriage bliss.” I always use a debit card, so I don’t keep cash lying around the house. Whine, whine, whine. I realize that this all sounds so “American Middle Class.” And I have lived without a phone and a car before and I’ve done just fine. It just really through me for a loop this morning. It made me very grateful for the conveniences I have. And I have made a vow to use public transportation to run an errand, make a list of phone numbers to keep at my house and at work, and to keep a $20 bill in my underwear drawer.
The point of this story is I felt completely lost without my phone and a car. I am so used to being completely independent and never needing to rely on anyone or anything but myself, that I didn’t know what to do besides stay at home for the rest of the day. I don’t have any phone numbers memorized because they are just programmed into my phone. I wouldn’t even know who to call because Thurm and I have been living in marriage bliss for the last 6 months and haven’t made any friends in the neighborhood. And what friends I do have in SLC I haven’t kept in touch with because again “marriage bliss.” I always use a debit card, so I don’t keep cash lying around the house. Whine, whine, whine. I realize that this all sounds so “American Middle Class.” And I have lived without a phone and a car before and I’ve done just fine. It just really through me for a loop this morning. It made me very grateful for the conveniences I have. And I have made a vow to use public transportation to run an errand, make a list of phone numbers to keep at my house and at work, and to keep a $20 bill in my underwear drawer.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Working For The Weekend - Loverboy
Everyone's watching, to see what you will doEveryone's looking at you, ohEveryone's wondering, will you come out tonightEveryone's trying to get it right, get it rightEverybody's working for the weekendEverybody wants a little romanceEverybody's goin' off the deep endEverybody needs a second chance, ohYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets goEveryone's looking to see if it was youEveryone wants you to come throughEveryone's hoping it'll all work outEveryone's waiting they're holding outEverybody's working for the weekendEverybody wants a little romanceEverybody's goin' off the deep endEverybody needs a second chance, ohYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets go(quick break)You want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets goYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets go
Everyone's watching, to see what you will doEveryone's looking at you, ohEveryone's wondering, will you come out tonightEveryone's trying to get it right, get it rightEverybody's working for the weekendEverybody wants a little romanceEverybody's goin' off the deep endEverybody needs a second chance, ohYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets goEveryone's looking to see if it was youEveryone wants you to come throughEveryone's hoping it'll all work outEveryone's waiting they're holding outEverybody's working for the weekendEverybody wants a little romanceEverybody's goin' off the deep endEverybody needs a second chance, ohYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets go(quick break)You want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets goYou want a piece of my heartYou better start from startYou wanna be in the showCome on baby lets go
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
My weekend started Friday at 3pm when our office was let out early for the holiday. I said good bye to Thurm as he, Ben, and Amy took a road trip to Washington for the Saskwatch Festival. I was in a mood and decided to chop off my hair. I called JCPenney, and an hour later, my hair was just below my chin. I had instant regret and my only solace was that my 11 inch pony tail was going to Locks of Love. I felt like I was on an episode of Seinfeld because I know the hairdresser was talking about me to her friend in Iranian. I told her I didn’t like the back and it wasn’t what I asked for. She was, I’m sure, telling her friend how particular I was being. Voice inflection is the universal language.
I went to my friend, Becca’s, wedding on Saturday. It was the only other wedding I had been to besides my own. I kept watching her face and could see all the feelings I had felt on my wedding day. She looked really happy; it made me tear up a little.
I went home for the rest of the weekend. My little brother came over and told me he was engaged to his girlfriend of two months!!! They got engaged Friday night, picked out their wedding announcements on Saturday, and Monday I took their engagement pictures (I will post a few later)! Geesh!! They seem to fit and I’m really happy for them.
I found out my dad wears Crocs. You know the shoes I’m talking about… hideous, foam, neon clogs. I loath them. I don’t normally care about fashion, but those shoes are hideous. It was all I could do not to ridicule my dad for wearing them : )
I went to my friend, Becca’s, wedding on Saturday. It was the only other wedding I had been to besides my own. I kept watching her face and could see all the feelings I had felt on my wedding day. She looked really happy; it made me tear up a little.
I went home for the rest of the weekend. My little brother came over and told me he was engaged to his girlfriend of two months!!! They got engaged Friday night, picked out their wedding announcements on Saturday, and Monday I took their engagement pictures (I will post a few later)! Geesh!! They seem to fit and I’m really happy for them.
I found out my dad wears Crocs. You know the shoes I’m talking about… hideous, foam, neon clogs. I loath them. I don’t normally care about fashion, but those shoes are hideous. It was all I could do not to ridicule my dad for wearing them : )
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Rupert with a View
Thurm was an asparagus hunting maniac last weekend in Rupert. We got five FULL grocery bags of asparagus. Friday night when we arrived in Rupert, he equipped us with knives and flashlight to go hunt down those sneaky asparagus's.
Weekend in Rupert
Thurm and I spent last Saturday in Rupert. The men moved a fence, the women gardened and cleared out a small field. 
All the grandkids sleeping on the floor Saturday morning.
GAMES!!! If there are more than two people in a room, you must play a game.
Ryan, my new brother-in-law, striking his winning pose.
THE INFAMOUS CANAL!
All the grandkids sleeping on the floor Saturday morning.
GAMES!!! If there are more than two people in a room, you must play a game.
Ryan, my new brother-in-law, striking his winning pose.
THE INFAMOUS CANAL! 
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Birthday Wishes
I found myself without a birthday wish yesterday. I hadn’t even thought about making a wish and blowing out candles and when I was faced with flames last night I had to quickly come up with a wish. The reason this was a problem was because ever since puberty, my birthday wish was to find my soul mate (I realize this makes me sound desperate and pathetic). In the last few years my mom and my niece have both used their birthday wishes for me to find Thurman (not requested by me, out of their own lack of faith that I had the skills to snag me a husband). It took me a minute to come up with something new, but it was a strange realization. I’m getting most everything I want in life : )
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Read this on MSN, thought it was funny : )
The Lazy Woman's Guide to Reinvention
If the mere thought of making over your life induces a hot flash, try one of these low-key alternatives.
By Karen Karbo
I used to marvel at people who could reinvent themselves in midlife. Like the woman I once read about who quit her job at a brokerage firm and bought a 1,000-acre spread in Wyoming to run her own guest ranch. What determination! What bravery! What disposable income! "How terrific it must be," I thought, "to just stop being a person who carries a briefcase and start being someone who gets up at four a.m. to muck out stalls."
How did she do it? I have no clue. Like many women I know, I have trouble remembering where I left the novel I'll never finish reading, so it's unlikely that I'll move to Istria (the Tuscany of Croatia) and renovate an 800-year-old farmhouse while learning to harvest truffles. You see, when it comes to the desire to reinvent myself, I am below average. My kind are not hyperorganized alpha reinventers but unfocused, exhausted, and weirdly content women who believe there are too many satisfying things to be done in a bathrobe, such as finding and reading the aforementioned novel.
What we do possess is an abundance of self-knowledge. Translation: We are smart enough to know that to reinvent ourselves might mean moving, which also means filling out those change-of-address forms no one ever heeds, putting all of our belongings in storage, or entering an internship program -- all of which would seriously impede our watching Law & Order reruns and mastering five-star-difficulty sudokus. Of course, everyone could use a little change now and then, so in the spirit of no midlife woman left behind, I offer three re's for the reinvention challenged.
Remodel
This is the equivalent of spending 20 grand to redo a kitchen rather than buy a new house. To remodel your life might mean taking a class, but never going for a degree. You will not be required to become fluent in Farsi or learn how to insert an artery stent. In other words, remodeling takes motivation, but not nearly as much as a full-scale reinvention requires. If you're a veterinarian, rather than close your practice to become a real estate agent (reinvention), you remodel yourself as a Cesar Millan-style dog whisperer.
Be careful. Remodeling can be easily confused with reinvention. Remodelers redo themselves by improving the selves they know. They never risk going into therapy, which could produce a life-changing epiphany. A friend who worked for years managing a local theater troupe recently quit to form her own company. This is an example of a judicious remodel. But had she decided to cash in her IRA to take acting lessons and remake herself into a star of stage and screen, that would have been, well, just plain stupid.
Refurbish
I like to think of refurbishment as slapping on a new coat of paint, because it's all about appearances. Instead of signing up for an online book group devoted to reading the works of Proust in one year, you opt for a set of porcelain veneers. It means saying yes to Botox, along with anything else that can be filed under the heading "Makeover." The refurbisher knows that with the proper attitude, a great new pair of boots can produce something akin to a spiritual awakening.
A refurbishment is just the ticket for the short-attention-span crowd. It never entails learning a new skill, although you may be asked to do the hard work of imagining yourself as a platinum blonde or someone who can wear dreadlocks with elan. You might say, "I'm not that superficial, just overwhelmed with the thought of dumping my life to summit Everest." But refurbishment is the re of choice for those who want the quickest return on their investment. If you're unconvinced, splurge on Lasik surgery and then get back to me.
Reframe
The successful reframist changes absolutely nothing about her life; she simply reframes the way she thinks about it. Let's say you're an aspiring novelist who makes a living working in human resources for a computer start-up. Rather than berate yourself for failing to have written that best-seller, think of all the fans you won't have to fend off and the nice nest egg you'll have when your company goes public. Are you the mother of a horrendous trio of video-game-playing teens who view taking out the garbage as a major imposition? There is cause for joy. Those sullen slackers who will never get into a decent college in a million years are just typical young folk whose lack of ambition will actually save you loads of money.
In short, reframists know how to take a fresh, appreciative look at what is. If she has pin-straight hair, she decides that all chic women have sleek hair. If she has curls that make her look like the sister of Hagrid, she rejoices in the fact that she will never have to buy Women's Rogaine. To opt for a reframe is to not change one bloody thing, but as our sainted mothers once urged, to be glad for what we have.
Beyond Reinvention
Frankly, there's nothing beyond reinvention, except possibly resurrection or reincarnation. The Jesuits have an ancient maxim: "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will give you the man." What this roughly means is that if you weren't into self-reinvention by second grade, you're probably not going to be the go-getter who closes her chiropractic office at 47 to enter local politics.
Still, reinvention is in the air, and like most communicable viruses, it's impossible to avoid. Even I've been infected. Last year, in a remodeling move, I bought a horse and partially reinvented myself as an equestrienne. It's going well, but I'd be lying if I said the sight of myself in breeches didn't have me thinking about scurrying back into my bathrobe.
If the mere thought of making over your life induces a hot flash, try one of these low-key alternatives.
By Karen Karbo
I used to marvel at people who could reinvent themselves in midlife. Like the woman I once read about who quit her job at a brokerage firm and bought a 1,000-acre spread in Wyoming to run her own guest ranch. What determination! What bravery! What disposable income! "How terrific it must be," I thought, "to just stop being a person who carries a briefcase and start being someone who gets up at four a.m. to muck out stalls."
How did she do it? I have no clue. Like many women I know, I have trouble remembering where I left the novel I'll never finish reading, so it's unlikely that I'll move to Istria (the Tuscany of Croatia) and renovate an 800-year-old farmhouse while learning to harvest truffles. You see, when it comes to the desire to reinvent myself, I am below average. My kind are not hyperorganized alpha reinventers but unfocused, exhausted, and weirdly content women who believe there are too many satisfying things to be done in a bathrobe, such as finding and reading the aforementioned novel.
What we do possess is an abundance of self-knowledge. Translation: We are smart enough to know that to reinvent ourselves might mean moving, which also means filling out those change-of-address forms no one ever heeds, putting all of our belongings in storage, or entering an internship program -- all of which would seriously impede our watching Law & Order reruns and mastering five-star-difficulty sudokus. Of course, everyone could use a little change now and then, so in the spirit of no midlife woman left behind, I offer three re's for the reinvention challenged.
Remodel
This is the equivalent of spending 20 grand to redo a kitchen rather than buy a new house. To remodel your life might mean taking a class, but never going for a degree. You will not be required to become fluent in Farsi or learn how to insert an artery stent. In other words, remodeling takes motivation, but not nearly as much as a full-scale reinvention requires. If you're a veterinarian, rather than close your practice to become a real estate agent (reinvention), you remodel yourself as a Cesar Millan-style dog whisperer.
Be careful. Remodeling can be easily confused with reinvention. Remodelers redo themselves by improving the selves they know. They never risk going into therapy, which could produce a life-changing epiphany. A friend who worked for years managing a local theater troupe recently quit to form her own company. This is an example of a judicious remodel. But had she decided to cash in her IRA to take acting lessons and remake herself into a star of stage and screen, that would have been, well, just plain stupid.
Refurbish
I like to think of refurbishment as slapping on a new coat of paint, because it's all about appearances. Instead of signing up for an online book group devoted to reading the works of Proust in one year, you opt for a set of porcelain veneers. It means saying yes to Botox, along with anything else that can be filed under the heading "Makeover." The refurbisher knows that with the proper attitude, a great new pair of boots can produce something akin to a spiritual awakening.
A refurbishment is just the ticket for the short-attention-span crowd. It never entails learning a new skill, although you may be asked to do the hard work of imagining yourself as a platinum blonde or someone who can wear dreadlocks with elan. You might say, "I'm not that superficial, just overwhelmed with the thought of dumping my life to summit Everest." But refurbishment is the re of choice for those who want the quickest return on their investment. If you're unconvinced, splurge on Lasik surgery and then get back to me.
Reframe
The successful reframist changes absolutely nothing about her life; she simply reframes the way she thinks about it. Let's say you're an aspiring novelist who makes a living working in human resources for a computer start-up. Rather than berate yourself for failing to have written that best-seller, think of all the fans you won't have to fend off and the nice nest egg you'll have when your company goes public. Are you the mother of a horrendous trio of video-game-playing teens who view taking out the garbage as a major imposition? There is cause for joy. Those sullen slackers who will never get into a decent college in a million years are just typical young folk whose lack of ambition will actually save you loads of money.
In short, reframists know how to take a fresh, appreciative look at what is. If she has pin-straight hair, she decides that all chic women have sleek hair. If she has curls that make her look like the sister of Hagrid, she rejoices in the fact that she will never have to buy Women's Rogaine. To opt for a reframe is to not change one bloody thing, but as our sainted mothers once urged, to be glad for what we have.
Beyond Reinvention
Frankly, there's nothing beyond reinvention, except possibly resurrection or reincarnation. The Jesuits have an ancient maxim: "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will give you the man." What this roughly means is that if you weren't into self-reinvention by second grade, you're probably not going to be the go-getter who closes her chiropractic office at 47 to enter local politics.
Still, reinvention is in the air, and like most communicable viruses, it's impossible to avoid. Even I've been infected. Last year, in a remodeling move, I bought a horse and partially reinvented myself as an equestrienne. It's going well, but I'd be lying if I said the sight of myself in breeches didn't have me thinking about scurrying back into my bathrobe.
I woke up this morning to Thurman telling me “don’t forget to put the package out for UPS, here is the house key (we are sharing at the moment), I brought in the laundry, I made your lunch and it is in the fridge, love you, have a good day.” Last night he did the grocery shopping, brought me home some flowers for my birthday, organized our storage closet, did our laundry, cleaned the ceiling and walls in our bathroom, made nachos for Ben & I, helped me with some stuff on-line, and was in a great mood doing it. Super husband! I think I managed to do some dishes and pay some bills on-line while he did the rest of that. He had a coke at lunch…hmm…
The new car that we bought has a CD player, which I haven’t had in a car since 2002, when it was stolen out of my Volkswagen my first month living in the big city of SLC. I haven’t even had a tape player so I’ve listened to a lot of radio, and got hooked on NPR a little while ago. And now when I drive the new car I have an internal battle of really wanting to listen to NPR, but feeling like I should take advantage of the CD player. NPR has won out more often than not.
The new car that we bought has a CD player, which I haven’t had in a car since 2002, when it was stolen out of my Volkswagen my first month living in the big city of SLC. I haven’t even had a tape player so I’ve listened to a lot of radio, and got hooked on NPR a little while ago. And now when I drive the new car I have an internal battle of really wanting to listen to NPR, but feeling like I should take advantage of the CD player. NPR has won out more often than not.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Last night we watched “Blood Diamond,” a movie I wasn’t that interested in seeing. When I first saw a preview of Leo DiCaprio shooting guns and speaking in a bad accent, (WHY do people keep casting him for roles with accents? He’s a great actor, I’ve really liked him ever since “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape,” but he’s not very good at accents. He is constantly slipping in and out of them.) I thought it looked like a plot-less action movie about a treasure hunt. But then it was nominated for an Oscar, I thought it couldn’t be that bad then. It was a good movie. In general it was an action flick, but the parts about war in Africa were so interesting and heart breaking. I kept wishing there was more history and facts. It just could have been so much better. But I don’t recommend it if you are sensitive to violence, which I am. It was sickening watching kids shoot up a village full of people with a machine gun.
I’ve been trying to read Jane Eyre for a month. Every time I lay (this could be the problem) down to read it, I fall asleep. I really like it! I didn’t think I’d ever love that era of literature, but it’s a classic for a reason. I think after I get through this book, I’ll try for Pride and Prejudice.
I’ve been trying to read Jane Eyre for a month. Every time I lay (this could be the problem) down to read it, I fall asleep. I really like it! I didn’t think I’d ever love that era of literature, but it’s a classic for a reason. I think after I get through this book, I’ll try for Pride and Prejudice.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Everyday on my way home from work there is ridiculous traffic because of construction and people’s lack of ability to merge. So I’ve come up with a system of merging that cuts my time by about 10-15 minutes. And thanks to my job, I’ve built a simple map to illustrate this : ) I get on the freeway at the green star (which is covered by the word “Ramp.”) I have to merge with a bunch of cars at the red star. This area causes frustration because the same lane is used for people getting on the freeway and people exiting onto I-215. At the blue star (here is where the fancy merging starts) as soon as I can, I merge from the right lane to the far left lane, thus skipping all the idiot mergers. Then at the yellow star I merge from the far left lane to the far right lane because of construction. People in the left lane slow to a stop!!! Then after right after the construction area there is an on-ramp in the right lane. So again, I merge to the far left lane. All of this with-in a few miles... my mother would scold me. But it really does cut a good 10-15 minutes off my commute. And of course I use my blinker and give the wave to people who let me in.Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Natural Highs
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Road trips with friends.
30. Swinging on swings.
31. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
32. Making chocolate chip cookies.
33. Holding hands with someone you care about.
34. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
35. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
36. Watching the sunrise
37. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
38. Knowing that somebody misses you.
39. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
40. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thurm and I had a great weekend. Saturday morning we went on a walk, which was supposed to be a run, but we ended up having a 45 minute argument about topics such as “is it healthy to discuss every mood swing the other person has or could we just ignore some and hope it goes away,” “does everyone have a conscience?”, etc. You’d think quiet, polite, easy going Thurm wouldn’t like to argue, but occasionally he indulges. The rest of the day was just running errands, cleaning, we planted some herbs, played with the little girl who lives upstairs, played a round of croquet in the yard with Thurm’s family, etc. It was just a nice, sunny, relaxed day. It felt like a day I’d spend with my mom in the summer. It felt like home.
Church on Sunday was one of those days where I teared up over everything in sacrament meeting and felt really grateful for my life and the people in my life. I just couldn’t get over my husband all day—He is such a good man. Good like how you feel about your dad or grandpa (not that I think of Thurm like my I think of my dad). He has values, principals, morals, he’s kind, and he treats me like a queen. If I wasn’t such a prideful person, this whole blog would be me gushing about how lucky I am and what an amazing husband I have. But I roll my eyes at those kind of girls : )
We went to a choir concert Sunday night and I was inspired to work on any musical talents I might have hiding. I watched the chorister almost the whole concert, mostly because she was really entertaining because she was so animated, but also because I have a new interest in leading music. It made me more excited about leading my primary kids.
Today we had a reorganization meeting at work. Our boss is reorganizing how our work is distributed. As of right now, we just have a big pool of work and whoever has the skills and/or the time completes the project. But soon we will be on client teams so I (ideally, but it’ll never happen) will only do the work for my team. This could potentially be good for me because it could foster working my up to a higher position. However, it could be frustrating because of who I’ll be working with. In the past, it was a rocky relationship, but hopefully this won’t be a problem this time around. Regardless, it might shake up my work life, which is good, because I’m not terribly happy here.
Church on Sunday was one of those days where I teared up over everything in sacrament meeting and felt really grateful for my life and the people in my life. I just couldn’t get over my husband all day—He is such a good man. Good like how you feel about your dad or grandpa (not that I think of Thurm like my I think of my dad). He has values, principals, morals, he’s kind, and he treats me like a queen. If I wasn’t such a prideful person, this whole blog would be me gushing about how lucky I am and what an amazing husband I have. But I roll my eyes at those kind of girls : )
We went to a choir concert Sunday night and I was inspired to work on any musical talents I might have hiding. I watched the chorister almost the whole concert, mostly because she was really entertaining because she was so animated, but also because I have a new interest in leading music. It made me more excited about leading my primary kids.
Today we had a reorganization meeting at work. Our boss is reorganizing how our work is distributed. As of right now, we just have a big pool of work and whoever has the skills and/or the time completes the project. But soon we will be on client teams so I (ideally, but it’ll never happen) will only do the work for my team. This could potentially be good for me because it could foster working my up to a higher position. However, it could be frustrating because of who I’ll be working with. In the past, it was a rocky relationship, but hopefully this won’t be a problem this time around. Regardless, it might shake up my work life, which is good, because I’m not terribly happy here.
Friday, April 27, 2007
I’m not sure why Thurm and I are so popular, but we have had lots of house guests in the last couple months: Thurm’s brother-in-law, my sister-in-law and her kids, my mom, Thurm’s brother Ben, Thurm’s brother Anthony and his two kids, Ben again, Thurm’s parents are coming this weekend, Ben still, my mom is coming again next weekend…I know we are cool, but I’m wondering if it happens to be our central location and not our engaging personalities.
Monday, April 23, 2007
I butchered my husband last night. He wanted his hair cut, just a trim. And I just went crazy and cut off all his hair. He has a very bad missionary hair cut now. I almost cried when I realized I had cut off all his beautiful curls. I don’t know how it happened, it was like I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. He won’t need a haircut for a year : ( Why is it the wifely duty to cut her husbands hair once they get married? I don’t expect Thurm to cut my hair.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
"Tying the knot often leads to weight gain, a two-year study of 2,528 men and women confirms. People who married during the study gained an average of 6-8 pounds, reports Robert Jeffery, Ph.D., a researcher at the University of Minnesota School of Public Health in Minneapolis. He speculates that a combination of factors is to blame for marital weight gain: the comfort of being in a secure relationship, less frequent exercise and the regular sit-down meals married couples eat.
There are many reasons why marriage can lead to weight gain, but the most common include:
We are no longer trying to attract a partner
Pregnancy occurs
We cook for gratification
We eat as much as our partner
We put our family's eating preferences above our own
We become the family's garbage disposal
Our partner sabotages us
We are in an unhappy marriage and turn to food for solace
We have unresolved issues
Birth control causes weight gain"
There are many reasons why marriage can lead to weight gain, but the most common include:
We are no longer trying to attract a partner
Pregnancy occurs
We cook for gratification
We eat as much as our partner
We put our family's eating preferences above our own
We become the family's garbage disposal
Our partner sabotages us
We are in an unhappy marriage and turn to food for solace
We have unresolved issues
Birth control causes weight gain"
Monday, April 16, 2007
Weekend Highlights
* We bought a silver 2002 Toyota Camry. I think we got a good deal on a good car.
*Batman showed up at our door in the form of Ben, Thurm's bro, Friday night. He proceeded to literally bounce around our walls until we figured out who the masked man was.
*My little brother has a girlfriend!!! I probably feel about the same as he did when he found out that I had a boyfriend a year ago. Very weird.
*Thurm and I were asked for the 3rd time when we were going to start having kids. We will be having our six MONTH anniversary in six days. I guess when you are old it doesn't matter how long you've been married. They are doing the math and counting backwards from when I can't have kids anymore.
*We played croquet twice this weekend and I am NOT very good at it. Which is disappointing because its a cool game.
*We watched "The Decent," a horror movie about caving. I vow to never enter a cave that doesn't have hand rails and a tour guide.
*I found out that I have three Sundays to prepare my Primary choir to sing three songs in sacrament for Mother's Day.
*We ate brownies and peach cobbler for Sunday dinner : ) mm mm
*Batman showed up at our door in the form of Ben, Thurm's bro, Friday night. He proceeded to literally bounce around our walls until we figured out who the masked man was.
*My little brother has a girlfriend!!! I probably feel about the same as he did when he found out that I had a boyfriend a year ago. Very weird.
*Thurm and I were asked for the 3rd time when we were going to start having kids. We will be having our six MONTH anniversary in six days. I guess when you are old it doesn't matter how long you've been married. They are doing the math and counting backwards from when I can't have kids anymore.
*We played croquet twice this weekend and I am NOT very good at it. Which is disappointing because its a cool game.
*We watched "The Decent," a horror movie about caving. I vow to never enter a cave that doesn't have hand rails and a tour guide.
*I found out that I have three Sundays to prepare my Primary choir to sing three songs in sacrament for Mother's Day.
*We ate brownies and peach cobbler for Sunday dinner : ) mm mm
Friday, April 13, 2007
I got a speeding ticket on March 21st while trying to make it to the airport on time to pick up my sister-in-law and nieces. And the reason I was late was I was helping my husband with some finance stuff. I was trying to be a good person and I got charged $97 for it. But whatever, I'm over that. The thing that kills me is the Justice Court! They COULDN'T make it any more inconvenient to deal with tickets. First of all, they don't put an amount owed on the ticket. I'm still unclear as to how I was supposed to find this information out. I assumed I was supposed to get something in the mail, but when I didn't get anything about a week later, I called. I was transferred to a million different people who finally told me that I wasn't in the system and to just wait until I get something in the mail. Yesterday I got a "FINAL LETTER" in the mail telling me that if I didn't pay $148 that I would be arrested and would have to show up in court, blah, blah. REALLY? Over an three week overdue speeding ticket!? It was too late to deal with it last night, so I woke up an hour earlier than normal thinking about it. I thought about it till I was so mad I couldn't sleep anymore. I had all sorts of righteous arguments and rants that I was going to lay on the "justice" court person. I'm not paying for THEIR MISTAKE! I'm not taking off work to go into court to defend my case! This is JUSTICE? So I got out of bed and called. While I was on hold a recording came on that told everyone they don't have parking at the justice court, so you'll either have to walk or pay in a public parking lot. That's how inconvenient we try to make this for you. Oh and by the way, we are only open for 7 hours a day while you are at work.
I got through after a minute and the woman told me it was their mistake, was very nice, and took care of it and it was all over with in 5 minutes. What a waste of all that self-righteous anger.
I got through after a minute and the woman told me it was their mistake, was very nice, and took care of it and it was all over with in 5 minutes. What a waste of all that self-righteous anger.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
A few days ago some co-workers were gossiping about two different affairs that were going on in the office. My comment was “That’s horrible, I can’t believe people really do that!” My co-worker’s comment was “even if you think you aren’t that type of person, you can’t say that you would NEVER fall into that. It could easily happen to anyone.” I didn’t respond because I don’t like to argue with this particular person. She is very “Type A” and would argue her opinion to the death. I think the girls at work think I’m dumb because I don’t add comments to the conversation very often and when I do and someone (which invariably happens because they are all very argumentative) argues with me, I don’t argue back. I drop the subject. I think this is viewed as weak or like I don’t have any opinions. But the truth is it’s a really arrogant thing to do. (I think I’ve learned it from Thurm : ) I have a million opinions and I usually disagree with the girls at work, but I don’t want to waste my time trying to convince someone that won’t be convinced. And I’m afraid I’ll say something mean and I want to have a nice working relationship with my co-workers.
Back to my original thoughts… I can say with 100% confidence that I would NEVER have an affair. I have very strong feelings about adultery. I wouldn’t have an affair on principal alone. Doesn’t anyone have integrity anymore? The world has become so “open minded” and politically correct about everything that people are losing their values and morals. I believe in having an open mind, accepting people who aren’t like me, etc. But I think I can do that without giving up my values and principals. I can still hold beliefs and love someone that contradicts my beliefs. We should all be able to do that… that’s exactly what Christ showed us. I’m not perfect of course. It’s just been bothering me that horrible things are becoming acceptable because no one wants to be thought of as close-minded.
In other news, Thurm and I drove three cars last night and will probably make an offer on two of them. One is a 2002 Toyota Camry 57,000 miles on it for $11,000. The other is a 2000 Subaru Legacy 100,000 miles on it for $8,500. They both have pros and cons… and it’s a hard decision to make, so I think we’ll offer about a $1,000 less on both and see if our decision is made for us.
And tonight our realtor is showing us three different homes. While all of these new purchases are fun, I can’t help but stress about the commitment, debt, and potential of making the wrong decision. It’s nice that Thurm doesn’t stress too much in life. I love his happy attitude.
Back to my original thoughts… I can say with 100% confidence that I would NEVER have an affair. I have very strong feelings about adultery. I wouldn’t have an affair on principal alone. Doesn’t anyone have integrity anymore? The world has become so “open minded” and politically correct about everything that people are losing their values and morals. I believe in having an open mind, accepting people who aren’t like me, etc. But I think I can do that without giving up my values and principals. I can still hold beliefs and love someone that contradicts my beliefs. We should all be able to do that… that’s exactly what Christ showed us. I’m not perfect of course. It’s just been bothering me that horrible things are becoming acceptable because no one wants to be thought of as close-minded.
In other news, Thurm and I drove three cars last night and will probably make an offer on two of them. One is a 2002 Toyota Camry 57,000 miles on it for $11,000. The other is a 2000 Subaru Legacy 100,000 miles on it for $8,500. They both have pros and cons… and it’s a hard decision to make, so I think we’ll offer about a $1,000 less on both and see if our decision is made for us.
And tonight our realtor is showing us three different homes. While all of these new purchases are fun, I can’t help but stress about the commitment, debt, and potential of making the wrong decision. It’s nice that Thurm doesn’t stress too much in life. I love his happy attitude.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Irrational International Disposition
I’ve been wanting another adventure as of late. While we have been looking for a new car and a house, I’ve been looking for an exciting international job with the government!... or something along those lines. Ideally, it would be a company where Thurm and I could both work, based in Europe, have amazing benefits, allow me a year off to have a baby and after that let me work from our villa on the coast. Every few years they would move us to another exotic location and, of course, buy us a home in each new local. Does anyone know of a job like this? Where do I send my resume?
We didn’t tell our families (uh oh!) but we applied for the Peace Corps before we got married. We had our interview and were accepted the week between our wedding and honeymoon. The problem was they couldn’t place us until Spring 2008, which meant we wouldn’t get home till Summer 2010, which meant I would be 31 when we got home, which meant Thurm would be JUST starting a career and I would be JUST starting to have babies. It just seemed like too big of a commitment.
So my new plan is to have an adventure and get paid. That or buy a house.
We didn’t tell our families (uh oh!) but we applied for the Peace Corps before we got married. We had our interview and were accepted the week between our wedding and honeymoon. The problem was they couldn’t place us until Spring 2008, which meant we wouldn’t get home till Summer 2010, which meant I would be 31 when we got home, which meant Thurm would be JUST starting a career and I would be JUST starting to have babies. It just seemed like too big of a commitment.
So my new plan is to have an adventure and get paid. That or buy a house.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
I took a 3-day weekend to attend the Sissy Reunion 2007. They got the party started Wednesday night, but I couldn't attend until Thursday afternoon. I met up with them for manicures and pedicures. After that was making dinner, playing games, and talking late into the night. The next day we went to the Joseph Smith movie on temple square, ate at Olive Garden, went to "Little Women" the musical, ate at El Ferroll, got waxed by Lynette, watched "Miss Congeniality".
In the middle of all that I talked to Thurm and he told me his car broke. His engine seized up and its $2,000 to replace it. Needless to say, we will be purchasing a new car soon. It put a damper on my mood. But we just both recently paid off our cars, so at least we don't have any other car payments. So if anyone has a good deal on a Toyota or Subaru, let me know.
It was fun spending time with Thurm's family. It gave me more insight into "why Thurm is the way he is." I'm sure he feels the same when he spends time with my family. We are a product of our surroundings. It made me miss him, being with people like him, but not him.
In the middle of all that I talked to Thurm and he told me his car broke. His engine seized up and its $2,000 to replace it. Needless to say, we will be purchasing a new car soon. It put a damper on my mood. But we just both recently paid off our cars, so at least we don't have any other car payments. So if anyone has a good deal on a Toyota or Subaru, let me know.
It was fun spending time with Thurm's family. It gave me more insight into "why Thurm is the way he is." I'm sure he feels the same when he spends time with my family. We are a product of our surroundings. It made me miss him, being with people like him, but not him.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Weekend Update
My mom, sister-in-law, and nieces stayed at our house on Saturday. We ate at Cafe' Rio (a mandatory stop for my Pocatello family) and then went to Wheeler Park. Its a really cool farm/park a block from our apartment. Then we left Thurm to go biking with his cousin, and we went to Gardener Village to shop. I didn't realize I left my keys at home because we were driving Florecita's car. When we got back, we were locked out for about an hour. Thurm finally rode up and informed us that there was a key under the mat : (
I don't think I've mentioned that I was called to Primary Chorister. I was called more than a month ago, but yesterday was my first time. The old chorister was having a hard time letting go and told me I could just watch and "train." Which turned out to be nice to see how things are run in primary. I haven't been in primary since I was 11, so it was a little foggy. I was pretty nervous, not because of the kids, but because of the teachers staring me down. I didn't know the songs, so I fumbled through a few and managed to do a decent job for my first time.
I don't think I've mentioned that I was called to Primary Chorister. I was called more than a month ago, but yesterday was my first time. The old chorister was having a hard time letting go and told me I could just watch and "train." Which turned out to be nice to see how things are run in primary. I haven't been in primary since I was 11, so it was a little foggy. I was pretty nervous, not because of the kids, but because of the teachers staring me down. I didn't know the songs, so I fumbled through a few and managed to do a decent job for my first time.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Everyone keeps asking Thurm and I what we do for fun and I always blank because we don't do anything notable. I think people ask us that because we don't have a TV. And I think they ask us that because we don't talk about our lives that much. So being the Research Assistant that I am, I wondered, "how do other people spend their time?", and I found what the US Census had to say about it:
"On an average day in 2005, nearly everyone (96 percent) age 15 and over reported some sort of leisure or sports activity, such as watching TV, socializing, or exercising. Among this group of participants, men spent more time doing leisure activities (5.7 hours) than women (5.0 hours). Men were slightly more likely than women to participate in sports on any given day, 19 versus 16 percent. In absolute terms, individuals increased their TV watching and socializing times by about the same amount; they watched TV for 42 more minutes and socialized for 35 more minutes on weekend days than on weekdays. Employed adults living in households without children (under age 18) engaged in leisure and sports activities for 4.5 hours, about 50 more minutes per day than employed adults living with a child under age 6. Almost half of their additional leisure time was spent watching TV. Adolescents and adults now spend, on average, more than 64 days a year watching television, 41 days listening to the radio and a little over a week using the Internet. Among adults, 97 million Internet users sought news online last year, 92 million bought a product, 91 million made a travel reservation, 16 million used a social or professional networking site and 13 million created a blog."
So what I've concluded is that alot of people waste alot of time watching TV. And I think we are included in that group. We don't watch TV, per say, but we watch occasional movies on our computer, which is basically the same activity. And we spend alot of time cooking dinner every night and cleaning it up. We usually take a walk or go exercising. The rest of our time is spent just interacting with each other. I'm amazed at how much time we "waste" just BSing, bugging each other, being silly, chit-chatting, etc. I would say that 60% of our off-work time is spent doing that. So pretty much, we do what every other person does. Maybe we should get some hobbies... join a bowling league?
"On an average day in 2005, nearly everyone (96 percent) age 15 and over reported some sort of leisure or sports activity, such as watching TV, socializing, or exercising. Among this group of participants, men spent more time doing leisure activities (5.7 hours) than women (5.0 hours). Men were slightly more likely than women to participate in sports on any given day, 19 versus 16 percent. In absolute terms, individuals increased their TV watching and socializing times by about the same amount; they watched TV for 42 more minutes and socialized for 35 more minutes on weekend days than on weekdays. Employed adults living in households without children (under age 18) engaged in leisure and sports activities for 4.5 hours, about 50 more minutes per day than employed adults living with a child under age 6. Almost half of their additional leisure time was spent watching TV. Adolescents and adults now spend, on average, more than 64 days a year watching television, 41 days listening to the radio and a little over a week using the Internet. Among adults, 97 million Internet users sought news online last year, 92 million bought a product, 91 million made a travel reservation, 16 million used a social or professional networking site and 13 million created a blog."
So what I've concluded is that alot of people waste alot of time watching TV. And I think we are included in that group. We don't watch TV, per say, but we watch occasional movies on our computer, which is basically the same activity. And we spend alot of time cooking dinner every night and cleaning it up. We usually take a walk or go exercising. The rest of our time is spent just interacting with each other. I'm amazed at how much time we "waste" just BSing, bugging each other, being silly, chit-chatting, etc. I would say that 60% of our off-work time is spent doing that. So pretty much, we do what every other person does. Maybe we should get some hobbies... join a bowling league?
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Passive-Aggressive
Passive-aggressive behaviour refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. It is a defensive posture and, more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.
Common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder
There are certain behaviors that help identify passive-aggressive behavior. [3]
Ambiguity
Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
Blaming others
Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
Complaining
Does not express hostility or anger openly
Fear of authority
Fear of competition
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy
Fosters chaos
Intentional inefficiency
Making excuses and lying
Obstructionism
Procrastination
Resentment
Resists suggestions from others
Sarcasm
Common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder
There are certain behaviors that help identify passive-aggressive behavior. [3]
Ambiguity
Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
Blaming others
Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
Complaining
Does not express hostility or anger openly
Fear of authority
Fear of competition
Fear of dependency
Fear of intimacy
Fosters chaos
Intentional inefficiency
Making excuses and lying
Obstructionism
Procrastination
Resentment
Resists suggestions from others
Sarcasm
Friday, March 16, 2007
We watched a really good french film last night called Les Choristes. We tried watching it in Taiwan one time, on Adena's recommendation, but it was in French with Chinese subtitles. It was along the lines of Mr. Hollands Opus, but more French. I recommend it : )
Thurm and I decided we should buy a house when our lease is up in October. So we've looked around a little, talked to a mortgage broker, etc. So our realtor sent us a listing for this cool old mansion that someone made into a tri-plex. Its a little out of our price range, but its AWESOME! We drove over to it last night and walked around and looked in the windows and fantasized how we'd fix it up.
Tonight we are going to the opera, Lucia di Lasomething. Its in Italian with English ''supertitles." I am excited to see how they have subtitles at the Capitol Theatre. Its so cool that my husband is willing and excited to go to the opera with me : )
Thurm and I decided we should buy a house when our lease is up in October. So we've looked around a little, talked to a mortgage broker, etc. So our realtor sent us a listing for this cool old mansion that someone made into a tri-plex. Its a little out of our price range, but its AWESOME! We drove over to it last night and walked around and looked in the windows and fantasized how we'd fix it up.
Tonight we are going to the opera, Lucia di Lasomething. Its in Italian with English ''supertitles." I am excited to see how they have subtitles at the Capitol Theatre. Its so cool that my husband is willing and excited to go to the opera with me : )
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Swallowing Tears
I have watched, IN AMAZEMENT, my little niece, Isabell, physically swallow her tears. Her huge eyes will well up in tears, sobs will start coming from her mouth, her face will get all scrunched. Then she'll get threatened by her mom to stop crying or else... some consequence. And amazingly, she can just stop. Stop the tears. Stop the sobs. Her face will suddenly be angelic again. How does she do this?
I've decided this is how marriage has to be. I get my feelings hurt and I dwell on it and dwell on it and can't get over it. Thurm trys to make it better, apologises, hugs and kisses me, and I am still prideful and don't let it go. Why can't I be like Isabell and just GET OVER IT! I am going to try to be more like her.
I've decided this is how marriage has to be. I get my feelings hurt and I dwell on it and dwell on it and can't get over it. Thurm trys to make it better, apologises, hugs and kisses me, and I am still prideful and don't let it go. Why can't I be like Isabell and just GET OVER IT! I am going to try to be more like her.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Saturday morning Thurm & I were being passive-aggressive over hurt feelings and mis-understandings. Mostly it was my fault. By afternoon we had talked it out, kissed, and made up. That night we went to a party of some mutual friends. We were the only married people there, it was made up of mostly LDS-late-twenties-singles. Just a year and a half ago we were in this category... and now we are in the married category. Now, not to minimize the single life, because I had a good time and I'm really glad I had those years to be irresponsible, to travel, to develop tight friendships with people who will always be apart of my life, to blow my money on entertainment and dining out.... but MAN am I SOOOOOO glad to be married!
At some point during the party, Thurm leaned over and said something to the affect of what I just explained above. And I looked around the room of people dancing, I thought about our morning of fighting, and I was just so thankful to have finally found the love of my life. My 27 years of singlehood are full of good memories and fun times, but I would hang out with Thurm on the couch in our tiny apartment talking about nothing, over going to a raging party any day.
At some point during the party, Thurm leaned over and said something to the affect of what I just explained above. And I looked around the room of people dancing, I thought about our morning of fighting, and I was just so thankful to have finally found the love of my life. My 27 years of singlehood are full of good memories and fun times, but I would hang out with Thurm on the couch in our tiny apartment talking about nothing, over going to a raging party any day.
Friday, March 02, 2007
The Prom
This is our picture from our company prom. It's really our company party, but since everyone gets REALLY dressed up, its referred to as "the prom." Thurm & I look like we were crying because we were laughing that it took the photographer 4 takes to get both of our eyes open. This was actually a pretty fun party. They had drinks and dinner at the Grand America downtown, very swanky.
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